The Paradoxical Nature of Human Needs - You Deserve Your Best

Have you ever wondered why you do the things you do? Why you've created some good habits, and some poor habits? Why you enjoy doing some things and detest doing others? Have you ever wanted to better understand why the people in your life do the things they do? Understanding the paradoxical nature of human needs is one of the most powerful tools for personal greatness and creating a meaningful life. Ultimately they're all about fulfillment. How do you get the most out of your days, moment to moment, and ensure that you're not sabotaging your the success you deserve? Learn these tools, and you're off to the races.

I've been working through a set of CD's and DVD's called "The Ultimate Edge" from the guru of personal change and development, Mr. Anthony Robins. Yes, at times, he can be a little over the top. But his messages carry with them a level of truth and insight that cannot be denied.

I love personal development. Love it. I have been addicted to personal growth and the pursuit of excellence since my teen years, and the passion only seems to be getting stronger. What's the difference between a plant that's alive and one that's dying? The plant that's alive is growing. Period. We are no different. To feel truly alive, you must be growing and developing and realizing more of your potential. Sharing this growth on a parallel path with others is another one of life's great gifts. But there's nothing more frustrating to someone who loves to grow than someone who's content with the status quo. To all of those people I would say "please get out of the way."

In part of this CD/DVD series (one of his older ones, entitled "Personal Power") Tony lays out what he calls the 6 essential human needs. His position is that every action we take is driven, consciously or unconsciously, by an attempt to satisfy one or all of these needs. What's SO powerful about this formula for understanding behaviour is that many of these needs are inherently in conflict. For example, one of our core human needs is the need for certainty, comfort, familiarity. Part of us wants to be sure that we can survive, be accepted, be safe, know what's going to happen. However, another one of our core human needs is the need for uncertainty, surprise, variety, diversity. We are programmed to search out new experiences, to learn, to change things up and keep things fresh. Is it any wonder we're a little confused?? This paradox has certainly led me to make a few poor choices, and probably sabotage a relationship or two.

Awareness precedes change

The good news is that once you bring a certain level of awareness to your actions and behaviours in this context, you can shape your experiences the way you choose. Once you begin to notice what it is you feel you need (certainty or uncertainty, comfort or surprise) you can find constructive and complimentary ways to find it. You can literally fill in the gaps where you need to. Feeling a little bored? Find or create some uncertainty. Notice what's actually different that you're not paying attention to, or change things up a bit. Feeling a little shaken up or out of control? Stressed out? Find some consistency. Create a grounding practice that you can connect to. Doing these things consciously will help you to take control of your behaviours and design your life the way you choose. If you don't pay attention to how these needs are being met, you're in for a world of trouble!

The key to a fulfilling life is finding harmonious ways to blend these seemingly paradoxical human needs. You truly can create a great and meaningful life under just about any circumstance. Be aware. Become an active designer of your days. You deserve your best, as do we all.

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Feed Your Soul Daily

In a world that's domiated by fear and negativity in the media, it's more important than ever to feed your soul.  If you're not doing something to feed your soul daily, you're not truly living your life to the fullest.  How you do this is very personal - some love music, some love dance, some love literature, connecting to people, or giving of their time.  Some need that family connection.  Some need to grow or learn something new.  Some need the simple connection with silence.  Whatever it is, there has to be some element of it today, and every day, to truly be at your best.

 

Remember that today is all we really have.  The past is gone, the future is a mystery.  This moment is a gift...and that's why they call it the "present".

 

Recognize that I'm not prefessing that every moment of your day has to be devoted to your passion.  For some of us that's not realistic in our current situation (though it's a noble goal).  You don't have to play in a touring band, or live in rural South America building houses every day in order to feed your soul.  But you do have to tap-in on some level on a daily basis.  It could be as simple as starting your day with some music that moves you.  You could commit to 30 minutes a day to reading.  You could make a phone call to say goodnight to your wife and kids. 

 

Whatever it is, you have to make time to do it today.  The "work today, live tomorrow" mentality is killing the passion of people on this planet.  The idea that "It's just this one road trip" or "I'll get back into reading when this project is done" or "I'll spend more time with the kids once business is back up" doesn't work.  Tomorrow never comes.  I for one will not take part.  And I encourage you to commit to the same. 

 

Commit to living every day.  Touch in with all things important.  Everyday.  This may seem like a daunting task,  but when it comes down to it the most important things are few.  Make sure you connect to them daily.  Your living will have more colour, more texture, more LIFE. 

 

To your highest and best,

 

R. Sinclair

Posted via web from robsinclair's posterous

3 Keys To Ensure You Never Miss Another Opportunity

Back on Vancouver Island in Canada's beautiful west coast.  The sun is shining, the breeze carries that spring freshness everywhere, summer's on the way....life is good.  I'm getting back into the groove after an incredible trip across this country and others - Toronto, south to Miami, cruising the Bahamas, back to Toronto, and home.  I experienced so much in these 10 days, and would have missed it all were it not for these principles...

When opportunities come knocking at your door, what will you say??  What have you said in the past?  Has that served you?  Are you where you want to be?  Are you doing what you want to do, when you want to do it, however you want to do it, with whomever you choose??

Nobody likes missing opportunities.  We all want to grab life by the horns and ride into our sunset.  The trick here is that opportunities almost always disguise themselves as problems, challenges, strange requests, conflicts, seemingly absurd suggestions or advice, and a myriad of other tricksters.  When you realize this, you see that opportunities are everywhere.  They are all around us, all the time.  The great ones amoung us know how to recognize and harness these opportunities - and quickly - to turn their dreams into reality.  How do you do this?  Here are a couple of suggestions...

1)  Know what you want!  This seams so simple, but don't just glaze over it.  This is probably the most important principle in creating the life of your dreams.  You have to train your brain to pay attention to every little detail related to your dreams, so that when sparks of inspiration drop into your world, you can fan the flame.  There is a system in your brain called the Reticular Activating Complex (RAC) whose job is to filter out all the approximately 80,000 different stimuli that your mind is presented with in a given second.  It sorts through, and presents your conscious awareness with the 6 or 7 bits that you've told it are important to you.  A great example of this is the new car phenomenon.  Have you ever noticed that when you get a new car (or new anything) you start to see them everywhere?  That's because you've told your brain that this is now something that's important to watch out for.  It's VALUABLE to you.  So get clear on what you want.  I recommend using visualization techniques, affirmations, dream boards, etc. to keep your dreams and goals fresh in your mind.

2)  Be aware, and say "YES"!  The universe is always speaking to you.  Always.  We live in an abundant world where anything is possible.  The key is to learn to LISTEN, and the say YES.  Be aware, and then follow your gut.  If your mind is drawn to a poster that you never noticed before, check it out.  Call the number, or email the contact for more info.  If you're inspired to call an old friend, or pursue a new connection, even though you're not sure why, do it.  In conversations about your dreams (or about anything!) listen for little suggestions that may help steer you towards your success.  These spontaneous inspirations are the signals from the universe to help you find what you need to get where you want to go.

3)  Trust.  There are no coincidences in this world.  None.  All things are connected, and anything is possible.  When you believe this, open yourself up to it, and ACT in accordance with this principle you will see what I mean.  I promise.  The old saying "seeing is believing" will not help you here.  In this case the opposite is true.  When you believe deep in your heart that these principles are true, you will see the results.  In other words, "Believing is seeing".  It is only when you let go and trust this world completely that you will be able to see the path.  Know this, and you will never miss another opportunity.  You will be counted amoung those "lucky" ones who seem to catch all the breaks and turn everything they touch into gold.

Yours in Health, Wealth, and Happiness,

R. Sinclair

Posted via web from robsinclair's posterous

3 Keys To Ensure You Never Miss Another Opportunity

Back on Vancouver Island in Canada's beautiful west coast.  The sun is shining, the breeze carries that spring freshness everywhere, summer's on the way....life is good.  I'm getting back into the groove after an incredible trip across this country and others - Toronto, south to Miami, cruising the Bahamas, back to Toronto, and home.  I experienced so much in these 10 days, and would have missed it all were it not for these principles...

When opportunities come knocking at your door, what will you say??  What have you said in the past?  Has that served you?  Are you where you want to be?  Are you doing what you want to do, when you want to do it, however you want to do it, with whomever you choose??

Nobody likes missing opportunities.  We all want to grab life by the horns and ride into our sunset.  The trick here is that opportunities almost always disguise themselves as problems, challenges, strange requests, conflicts, seemingly absurd suggestions or advice, and a myriad of other tricksters.  When you realize this, you see that opportunities are everywhere.  They are all around us, all the time.  The great ones amoung us know how to recognize and harness these opportunities - and quickly - to turn their dreams into reality.  How do you do this?  Here are a couple of suggestions...

1)  Know what you want!  This seams so simple, but don't just glaze over it.  This is probably the most important principle in creating the life of your dreams.  You have to train your brain to pay attention to every little detail related to your dreams, so that when sparks of inspiration drop into your world, you can fan the flame.  There is a system in your brain called the Reticular Activating Complex (RAC) whose job is to filter out all the approximately 80,000 different stimuli that your mind is presented with in a given second.  It sorts through, and presents your conscious awareness with the 6 or 7 bits that you've told it are important to you.  A great example of this is the new car phenomenon.  Have you ever noticed that when you get a new car (or new anything) you start to see them everywhere?  That's because you've told your brain that this is now something that's important to watch out for.  It's VALUABLE to you.  So get clear on what you want.  I recommend using visualization techniques, affirmations, dream boards, etc. to keep your dreams and goals fresh in your mind.

2)  Be aware, and say "YES"!  The universe is always speaking to you.  Always.  We live in an abundant world where anything is possible.  The key is to learn to LISTEN, and the say YES.  Be aware, and then follow your gut.  If your mind is drawn to a poster that you never noticed before, check it out.  Call the number, or email the contact for more info.  If you're inspired to call an old friend, or pursue a new connection, even though you're not sure why, do it.  In conversations about your dreams (or about anything!) listen for little suggestions that may help steer you towards your success.  These spontaneous inspirations are the signals from the universe to help you find what you need to get where you want to go.

3)  Trust.  There are no coincidences in this world.  None.  All things are connected, and anything is possible.  When you believe this, open yourself up to it, and ACT in accordance with this principle you will see what I mean.  I promise.  The old saying "seeing is believing" will not help you here.  In this case the opposite is true.  When you believe deep in your heart that these principles are true, you will see the results.  In other words, "Believing is seeing".  It is only when you let go and trust this world completely that you will be able to see the path.  Know this, and you will never miss another opportunity.  You will be counted amoung those "lucky" ones who seem to catch all the breaks and turn everything they touch into gold.

Yours in Health, Wealth, and Happiness,

R. Sinclair

Posted via web from robsinclair's posterous

Efficiency V.S. Effectiveness

It's been said that if you want to be good, you must do things right.  But to be great, you must do the right things.

I always try to evaluate my actions, and reflect on where and how my time is spent.  Nobody's perfect, and the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement (how's that for a line?)  Seriously though, I try to spend some time each week thinking, tapping the pencil....in my businesses, in my relationships, in my health, in my "rob-time"...what actions will give me the maximum output of the desired result?  How can I spend more time doing those things, and minimize the rest?  Classic 80/20 rule.

In today's fast-paced world distractions are deadly.  You get 86,400 seconds in a day.  You get 140 characters on twitter.  Moments matter.  Will you spend them frivolously?  Or invest them wisely...

To your highest and best,

Rob Sinclair

Posted via web from robsinclair's posterous

Growth, Change and Living the Life You Deserve

"What's the difference between a plant that is alive, and one that is not? Easy - the one that is alive is GROWING. The one that's not is either dead, or soon will be." - Unknown

I believe this is a good metaphor for life. I know in my own experience I feel most alive when I'm growing, learning, and experiencing new things (people, places, situations, challenges). I also know how easy it can be to get stuck in a rut...get complacent, "settle".

Those who are happiest and most successful in this world are the ones who embrace this fundamental truth. They actively seek out new experiences. They go after what they want, recognizing that in order to get it they may have to take different actions than they have up until this point. After all, if you continue doing what you've always done, you'll continue getting what you've always gotten. So to have new experiences, often you have to be a new you. You have to change.

What is it that we fear so much about change? Why is it scary? Why do many of us know that we need to change, and even want to, but still don't? Simple. Because we fear death. Our ego holds on with a literal death-like grip to "who we are" at any given moment or stage of our life. True growth and change requires that concept of self to die.

We think what we have is security, safety, comfort, familiarity - but these are the prisons that keep us from living on that "edge" of life where we truly feel alive from moment to moment.
I have always loved the concept, coined by one of my favorite authors Robin Sharma ("The Monk who Sold his Ferrari") - "Die daily." If today was your last, how would you live it?

When you face your mortality on a daily basis, you embrace life from the perspective of a person in their last days on this earth - with gratitude, appreciation, and awe. From this perspective, you embrace all of the experiences life throws at you, and seek to have as many more as possible. You value the very diversity that would otherwise scare you and keep you in your comfort zone. This passion will be the driving force that helps you break free from the constraints of your ego's fear of death. It will help you to grow and change and open up to the your best self. Imagine the personal power you would have if you lived everyday as if it were your last. Imagine the colours and textures your life could take on. Well, guess what - you deserve it! Step up, die today, and live to the max.