Have you ever wondered why you do the things you do? Why you've created some good habits, and some poor habits? Why you enjoy doing some things and detest doing others? Have you ever wanted to better understand why the people in your life do the things they do? Understanding the paradoxical nature of human needs is one of the most powerful tools for personal greatness and creating a meaningful life. Ultimately they're all about fulfillment. How do you get the most out of your days, moment to moment, and ensure that you're not sabotaging your the success you deserve? Learn these tools, and you're off to the races.
I've been working through a set of CD's and DVD's called "The Ultimate Edge" from the guru of personal change and development, Mr. Anthony Robins. Yes, at times, he can be a little over the top. But his messages carry with them a level of truth and insight that cannot be denied.
I love personal development. Love it. I have been addicted to personal growth and the pursuit of excellence since my teen years, and the passion only seems to be getting stronger. What's the difference between a plant that's alive and one that's dying? The plant that's alive is growing. Period. We are no different. To feel truly alive, you must be growing and developing and realizing more of your potential. Sharing this growth on a parallel path with others is another one of life's great gifts. But there's nothing more frustrating to someone who loves to grow than someone who's content with the status quo. To all of those people I would say "please get out of the way."
In part of this CD/DVD series (one of his older ones, entitled "Personal Power") Tony lays out what he calls the 6 essential human needs. His position is that every action we take is driven, consciously or unconsciously, by an attempt to satisfy one or all of these needs. What's SO powerful about this formula for understanding behaviour is that many of these needs are inherently in conflict. For example, one of our core human needs is the need for certainty, comfort, familiarity. Part of us wants to be sure that we can survive, be accepted, be safe, know what's going to happen. However, another one of our core human needs is the need for uncertainty, surprise, variety, diversity. We are programmed to search out new experiences, to learn, to change things up and keep things fresh. Is it any wonder we're a little confused?? This paradox has certainly led me to make a few poor choices, and probably sabotage a relationship or two.
Awareness precedes change
The good news is that once you bring a certain level of awareness to your actions and behaviours in this context, you can shape your experiences the way you choose. Once you begin to notice what it is you feel you need (certainty or uncertainty, comfort or surprise) you can find constructive and complimentary ways to find it. You can literally fill in the gaps where you need to. Feeling a little bored? Find or create some uncertainty. Notice what's actually different that you're not paying attention to, or change things up a bit. Feeling a little shaken up or out of control? Stressed out? Find some consistency. Create a grounding practice that you can connect to. Doing these things consciously will help you to take control of your behaviours and design your life the way you choose. If you don't pay attention to how these needs are being met, you're in for a world of trouble!
The key to a fulfilling life is finding harmonious ways to blend these seemingly paradoxical human needs. You truly can create a great and meaningful life under just about any circumstance. Be aware. Become an active designer of your days. You deserve your best, as do we all.
